You really coming over, don't trick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
