I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
