so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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