sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
