Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
