yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
