How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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