Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
