ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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