Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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