Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
