$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
