She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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