I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
