Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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