i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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