Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
