So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
