I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
