Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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