she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
