Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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