Me too!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
