Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
