brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
