I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
