You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
