bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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