i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
