This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
