all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
