Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
