He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
