You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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