Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
