i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Randomize
