thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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