he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
