I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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