at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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