I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
