i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
