Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
