my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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