This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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