I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
