wanna go halves on a baby?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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