Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
