Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
