I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she told me i tasted like america
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
