i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
