i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
