wakey wakey hands off snakey
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
